The end or a beginning...

Happily the last day of the year turned out to be a Sunday. Though it was a lazy day with lazy thoughts, my mind is fully equipped with whatever, it is difficult to assess and seems to throw me off the balance. I just decided to strongly ponder upon the facts of this year and answer the question why I am bogged with all this.

Actually the start of the year had nothing fresh to offer me, since I was with the same company and was continuing with the same kind of mechanical drudgery. The challenge at office was not new…because these challenges were due to the insufficiency of the organization rather than my own making. Change was no where in sight and the forces that would give me that change was not evident. Sometimes during July, I got a phone call from a consultant which led me to a change in job. September – my work base had changed. New office had forced a lot of change in to me. Normally I am reclusive, introvert guy and somebody had to force me to talk. Here I became a forced extrovert. The initial two months had not much impact on me as there was not much to do. Then I was asked to travel to Ireland for a knowledge transition, which was during November. The entire month, I was there understanding the client’s way of functioning. Ireland had a lot to offer me. In a way, I understood people here are just like us Indians and whatever were the pre-conceived notions about them had got erased out. I had some lovely friends, who genuinely loved to meet me and extend there relationship as a friend beyond the professional sphere. Like me, they were intrigued about our way of life. They ask me lot of funny questions about Indian way of life. It was surprise to me that outside India, we are looked upon as a great civilization; people respect us. It’s only us who don’t value ourselves. Most of the taxi-drivers I spoke during my long journey had great words to say about Gandhiji and his ideals. Young people talk about peace with the same breath they talk about Gandhian values. Back at Chennai, the environment at office had changed drastically. Like I said I had to move around with people. I had to make friendship with lots of people and came out of my own self-imposed shell. I was asked to led the show for a small set of people. I did lot of talking; making them understand, what I had learnt at Ireland. Everyday there were regular sessions of 4-5 hours. These activities brought forth my capabilities as a teacher. My subject matter was little, since it was related technical skill which people can easily learn. But I did a lot of talking on observing skill, technical problem solving, about life, humor and did my best to the make the sessions an engaging one. It was more interactive and feedback was encouraging to me. This was a good experience to me. I can see the changes happening inside me too.

As of my personal life, sometime during the course of the year, it was on shaky terrain. If I am asked to put in words about what transpired, it would be difficult. The strength of my feeling and emotion will not equate the strength of my words. My behavior was obsessive. I, as a person was strong to the point that I will never let anybody down. My belief in my own word was strong and was committed to each word I utter. I expected the same from each person I interact with. I derived strength from this person not realizing that it is within me. I had shared each moment of life with this person. I was literally giving a running commentary of my life. I never knew that time and situation had anything to do with relationships. I believed that, everybody is a reflection of me. I was wrong on many counts. I was naïve. I was self-destructive. And at last I was disturbing this person to the point that the confession came out that I was a disturbance and my presence in her life was a ‘time-being’. The lesson was that people change and they change for there own good. The lesson was good and I think this doesn’t deserve more words and thoughts.


My son has started uttering wonderful words. My prayer was answered. I wanted him to emulate Dennis ‘the menace’ and now I fear he is much more than that. He reads my mind like Sigmund Freud. He knows what makes me laugh and what makes me shout at him. He knows how to divert me. He knows the timing of each of my action. He knows his smiles will make me strong and whenever I am down, with his little pep talk fires the spirits inside to look ahead into life. At this moment of life, he is my biggest teacher. He gets the things he deserves and works hard towards achieving them. He never retracts from what he wants. He is a go-getter…proactive to the core. He believes that he is his best help.

When I look ahead, New Year is just going to be a change in the date and an addition to the number of year I have spent here. Any amount of resolution on this day will not change me. For me, lessons are learnt then and there and resolutions are set for a life and should not be restricted to this day. Lessons are inherent inside me; some just got dissolved into my blood and some into my heart. Some lessons have conditioned me so much that it got dissolved into my character trait. I am looking forward with excitement, each moment, each minute, each dawn with lots of expectation and positive signs of Life.

Thousand-Hand Bodhisattva Masterpiece

Thousand-Hand Bodhisattva Masterpiece - video powered by Metacafe

Ponder on this..!!!

Christmas Day

During my childhood days, Christmas was a grand festival just like Diwali or Pongal. Our family friends were Christians and celebrations were usually joint venture. It was a day filled with loads of briyani, meat, cakes and wine. Besides that our neighborhood had plenty of Christians, who invite us and shower my home with cakes and other eatables. Over the years, things have changed and Christmas has become just another festival. I yearn for those lost days....

Act of Faith

I saw an act of Faith today -
a man was on his knees;
Not in a pew or in a church,
but in a garden planting seeds.
-anonymous

sounds beautiful - by Erik Mongrain

Seems like I have to change my religion

I dont know ABC of Islam and this site beliefs that I am muslim to the core....My beliefs are just my belief and I consider myself a practising Hindu


You scored as Islam. Your beliefs are most similar to those of Islam. Do more research on Islam and possibly consider taking the shahadah and officially becoming a Muslim, if you aren't already.

Despite the actions of some - who go against the teachings of Islam - Islam is a religion of peace; the word "islam" means "peace through submission to God." "Muslim" means "one who submits to God." Islam is the third of the three Abrahamic faiths, and it shares much with Judaism in Christianity; its differences are the acceptance of Muhammad as the last and final prophet, and the oneness of God - in other words, that Jesus, though he was a revered prophet, was not in fact God, and only one God exists. Apparently the Taliban could not read (though their name means "students"), because the Qur'an states that men and women are equal as believers, and that all believers should be educated and seek knowledge. Modesty in dress and behavior is required in Islam for both men and women to preserve the values of society and move the emphasis from superificial appearance to intelligence, knowledge, and God.

Islam		100%
agnosticism		83%
Paganism		79%
Buddhism		71%
Judaism		67%
atheism		67%
Hinduism		50%
Satanism		25%
Christianity		17%

Which religion is the right one for you? (new version)
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Revisit

I took a long break from anything that meant I should think hard. I had gone on an official trip to Ireland for a month. This trip was for a purpose and I wanted to excel in it. I made a conscious decision to concentrate on what was on hand. I think, I have done exceptionally well and had no complains about the outcome.

This was my first visit outside of India, which makes it an exciting and interesting one. Ireland, like what I have seen in Television or movies, is beautiful country with lots of landscapes (no wonder there most loved sport is Golf) and greenery everywhere. There were lots of contrasts between India and Ireland…climatic conditions being the major one. The temperature ranges from 3° Celsius to 10° Celsius. That was important change to me, since there was change in my mood also. It was kind of sober and melancholic at times. The sun makes appearances on rare occasions.

Back in India, I took 1 week to catch up with rhythm of life and here I am…again with same patches of happiness, bundled with worries and getting on life wondering what next.